Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Marriage and Its Benefits (Not DOMA)

In Psalm 68, we see a picture of a loving, all-powerful God who goes before us, who blesses our lives, and places us in families:
4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Extol Him who rides on the clouds, By His name Yah, And rejoice before Him. 5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. 6 God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land. And, later we read...    19 Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation! 

Family life is of great benefit to us - and we recognize that a home where God is worshipped and honored and His principles are placed in motion, can produce a high degree of security and satisfaction.  And, while I believe the Scriptures teach that the traditional marriage structure is the most effective, we also recognize that, due to a wide range of factors, many times not of our own making, our families become fractured, and we have to depend on God to make the best of a less-than-optimal situation.   The home can be an instigator and incubator for spiritual growth, as we learn to live with one another and to love and cherish each other in the way that God would intend.   As we do so, we are strengthened, our lives are more secure, and we send a strong message to our culture about the importance of family and, wherever possible, the sanctity of marriage.

Psalm 103 opens with these 2 verses:
1...Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits:The Psalmist goes on to enumerate just some of those benefits.   And, yes, a relationship with Christ and following His principles produces satisfaction - His way is best!   And, that applies to the way of marriage.

We've been hearing a lot about marriage and benefits this past week, as the Supreme Court has decided that gay couples who get a marriage license in states where such relationships are incorrectly viewed as "marriage" should receive the same benefits that couples in traditional marriages receive.  Well, you might try to extend material benefits to these couples, but the real benefits of real marriage are more than a check in a mail or some sort of government-granted right.

Marriage is God-ordained institution, and to be in a committed relationship that is predicated on love and respect for one another, as the Lord has joined the two parties together gives a tremendous degree of satisfaction.   A thriving marriage can encourage and support each of us, and provide a stable environment for children to grow up in.   Our homes can be havens for security and a habitations in which we can grow spiritually.

I came across a piece that Marvin Olasky wrote recently for the WORLD website, in which he highlights a book by Mary Eberstadt called, How the West Really Lost God.   He states that she flips the conventional wisdom—first religious decline, then family decline—and argues that family formation increases religious involvement but unformed or broken families lead to a broken church. She puts her thesis in italics: “Something about living in families makes people more receptive to religiosity and the Christian creed.”

She speculates that parents see their children as wonderfully created, and “it is too intense for many parents to believe that the life before them has a cold, finite end.” She writes about “the selfless care of an ailing family member, the financial sacrifices made for those whose adulthood one may never live to see—even the incredible human feat of staying married for a long time.” Those examples of dying to self, she argues, make the Christian emphasis on doing that seem good and right. 

Olasky adds that God uses childbearing and raising, within families, to draw women—and men—to Himself.  Both women and men learn that they are not the center of the world, that they belong to their spouses and to God. Self-focus is the chief obstacle to God-focus, and when family trumps self, the road to transformation providentially becomes open.

So, there are spiritual and social benefits to marriage - the union of one man and one woman.  

In its report released earlier this year, the National Marriage Project points out that we are witnessing a striking exodus from marriage, especially among high school but not college educated young people, for whom raising children amid unstable cohabiting relationships and serial partnerships is in danger of becoming the new norm. 

This rapid decline of marriage among the almost 60 percent of the nation who are high school educated but not college educated, those whom we might call “Middle America,” has been dramatic. As recently as the 1980s, only 13 percent of the children of moderately-educated mothers were born outside of marriage. By the late 2000s, this figure rose to a striking 44 percent. And in marked contrast to past calls for attention to changing trends in family structure, today almost none of our political and social leaders are talking about this dramatic change.

In setting up his piece, Olasky quotes from the Project, saying that the "Great Crossover" is now upon us:  the median age at which women first give birth, 25.7 years, now falls below the median age at first marriage, 26.5. That’s because 48 percent of all first births now come outside the comforting bounds of a two-parent family. One reason for this crossover is clearly declining faith in the cross—fewer people believe what God teaches about marriage.  He then moves into citing Mary Eberstadt's contention that the decline in family formation could lead to a further decline in religious belief.

A basic premises that I talk about consistently on the radio show:  God's way is best!  Marriage, as defined by God, is a relationship with many, many benefits - to the individuals involved, to the families that marriages anchor, and to the society at large.  We can grow spiritually as our marriages are centered on Christ and our homes are built on His firm foundation. 

And, I know that there are those who listen to me that are not in such a relationship - single parents who are bravely doing their best to glorify God and raise children alone...and I do want to say a word of appreciation for how you are allowing God to work in your life to raise kids and try to do the work of two.

But the bottom line:  If we willfully depart from His principles, then we do so at our peril - and it affects other people, as well.




Read more here: http://www.thenewstribune.com/2013/03/24/2527759/knot-yet-in-america-decline-of.html#storylink=cpy

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