The Cost of Marriage

The Bible likens the husband-wife relationship to the relationship between Christ and the church.  In
Ephesians 5, we read:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Jesus humbled Himself to the extent that He died on a cross for us.  He totally gave of Himself, we, as the Church, now give of ourselves.  That is a dynamic that God intends for the marriage relationship.  There is so much money being spent on weddings these days, but what the Lord calls us to do is to invest of ourselves, to be willing to humble ourselves out of love for our mates.  In humility, we can seek to please our mate as we please the Lord.

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In the book of Genesis, we see that God established the institution of marriage, and Jesus reinforced
the sanctity of that institution, as well as the definition. Matthew 19 says:
4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'
5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

The website, The Knot, has released its latest tabulation for the cost of a wedding in America, and the sticker price might be a bit shocking.  According to the site, "After surveying nearly 13,000 real brides and grooms across America, we found that the overall cost of a wedding has soared to new heights, with a national average of $35,329 (and that’s not including the honeymoon)."  That is according to The Knot 2016 Real Weddings Study. That figure represents an increase of almost $2,700 over the previous survey.

And, of course, there are geographical fluctuations. As the story on the website points out, a wedding "in, say, Manhattan could cost an average of $78,464, while an Arkansas wedding will average at $19,522."

The number of wedding guests has actually declined slightly over the past few years - to 141 last year, down from 149 back in 2009.  That makes the cost per guest come in at $245, which is up over $50 from 2009. Why? The piece says, "Couples today have total personalization and unforgettable guest experiences top of mind."

The article states:

With to-be-weds now shelling out more money per guest, they’re more excited than ever to create the ultimate guest experience complete with out-of-the-box entertainment and exceptional amenities, including everything from food trucks, lawn games and photo booths (which aren’t going anywhere any time soon) to aerialists, gospel choirs and live portrait artists.

And, reception spending was up across all categories in 2016.

With all this investment going on for the wedding, I wanted to take a moment to think about the investment that those of us who are married can make on the marriage.  Because there is a cost involved; I don't say that in a negative way, and maybe shouldn't even use the word "cost."

Ultimately, the "cost" of a marriage involves a total investment.  The Bible teaches in Genesis that we are to "leave" our father and mother and "cleave" to our mates.  Our entrance into marriage represents a transition in which we totally humble ourselves before the Lord to create a new unit, a new entity. And, that humility doesn't stop on the wedding day - that really is only the beginning. Marriage is called a "sacred union" for a reason - there is something spiritual going on, and we are essentially united in spirit with our spouse.

We don't lose our individual identities when we get married; rather, we take our individual identities and allow the Lord to blend us together.  That may occur on the wedding day, but those who are not both believers on their wedding days can experience that type of union throughout the course of our marriage.  We recognize that marriage is something that needs to preserved, revered, and nurtured.  I believe that my marriage to Beth has been strong and has even become stronger throughout the years because of our incredible love for one another, as well as our devotion to keeping it strong.  We are truly in love, best friends who communicate freely and make time with one another a priority.

With Valentine's Day approaching, yes, make sure you exchange the material gifts to express your love for each other, but also recognize that the test of a relationship, for those who are married or who are planning to be, is to give of yourself, investing your spirit, emotions, and time in order to experience what God has in store for you.