I want to share two verses from the book of Proverbs. One has to do with the importance of preserving a good reputation. In chapter 22, we read:
1 A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.
1 A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.
25 The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.
God affirms the importance of a good reputation; I believe that we should strive to be well thought-of and perceived well. But, He also warns against trying to please people. So, there's a tension; but I believe there's a resolution: please God! If we are seeking to walk in the Spirit, displaying Godly character, we can radiate His nature; hopefully, people will be drawn to that. We can break free from shame and guilt, preserve a good conscience, and allow Christ to be our identity. If we live out of concern for what others think, we are vulnerable to living according to the wishes of others, rather than the desires of God for us.
Paul had some encouraging words about the necessity and desire to please God, rather than other
people. In Galatians 1, he wrote:
10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.
11 But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man.
12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Survey results released last month reveal what Americans think about the concept of shame, involving the fear of losing one's reputation. Christianity Today reported on the survey, conducted by LifeWay Research. Scott McConnell, Executive Director of the research organization, stated: "What’s our biggest cultural fear? Shame,” adding,“What’s surprising is not that personal freedom, ambition, and doing the right thing are valued by Americans. It’s that risk to our reputation is what matters most.”
McConnell revealed the impetus for the survey: “We wanted to know: Are churches addressing the issues Americans care about most?”
A thousand Americans were posed three questions in order to learn about "their feelings about fear, shame, guilt, and other issues." The questions were:
Which of these feelings do you seek to avoid the most?
Which of these desires is strongest in your life?
Which of these directions do you value the most?
In response to the "avoidance" question:
The summary article goes on to say:
Finally, there's the "directions" question: i.e which direction respondents value the most. Some clarification here. The options were: 1) Reaching my potential, 2) Bringing honor to family and friends, and 3) Having friends in high places. Just over half of Americans valued reaching their potential, and 46 percent valued bringing honor to family and friends. But, only 3% chose the "friends in high places" option. Instead, Americans were split almost down the middle between reaching their potential (51%) and bringing honor to family and friends (46%).
The article stated that McConnell "said that Americans are ambitious...but it’s not always ambition for its own sake." He related, "We want the people we love to be proud of us," adding, “Few of us want to let our family and friends down.” He is skeptical about the responses about having friends in high places and wonders if people don't want to admit that they want that.
Again, as the LifeWay leader said, "It’s that risk to our reputation is what matters most."
Also, from McConnell: “Guilt says, ‘I deserve to be punished,’” he said. “But shame says, ‘I am worthless.’”
Let's think together about some principles related to the survey: For one thing, we should be concerned about possessing a good reputation. But, we should not also be overly fearful of what people think about us. I think there's a tension there. We are called to walk from what the Bible calls the "fear of man." But, we are also ambassadors for Christ, so we want people to think well of us for His sake. And, for the Christian, that may just be where the tension eases: if we are living not to please men, but to please God, we can have the confidence that He is working through us and will produce His fruit and His reputation.
I do believe we should be concerned about the perception of other people. Carefree actions can lead to careless damage to the Kingdom. But, we have to be confident of our identity in Christ. In using McConnell's definition of shame as a feeling of worthlessness, if you believe you are worthless, or are saddle with either false guilt over what you may have done or true guilt over past sins, it will restrict the joy and peace we project. The confession of our sin and the confidence we possess in the presence of the indwelling Christ can give us a life of freedom, rather than paralyzing concern over our reputation. We can strive, in His strength, to please God above all else. That may place us at odds with the world, and is likely to do so, but we can experience a clear conscience.
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Paul had some encouraging words about the necessity and desire to please God, rather than other
people. In Galatians 1, he wrote:
10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.
11 But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man.
12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Survey results released last month reveal what Americans think about the concept of shame, involving the fear of losing one's reputation. Christianity Today reported on the survey, conducted by LifeWay Research. Scott McConnell, Executive Director of the research organization, stated: "What’s our biggest cultural fear? Shame,” adding,“What’s surprising is not that personal freedom, ambition, and doing the right thing are valued by Americans. It’s that risk to our reputation is what matters most.”
McConnell revealed the impetus for the survey: “We wanted to know: Are churches addressing the issues Americans care about most?”
A thousand Americans were posed three questions in order to learn about "their feelings about fear, shame, guilt, and other issues." The questions were:
Which of these feelings do you seek to avoid the most?
Which of these desires is strongest in your life?
Which of these directions do you value the most?
In response to the "avoidance" question:
Overall, 38 percent of Americans say they avoid shame the most, while 31 percent say guilt and 30 percent say fear.Those who are religious avoid shame more than the non-religious, or the "nones," by a margin of 39 to 33%. 48% of those from non-Christian faiths are likely to avoid shame.
The summary article goes on to say:
When it comes to what Americans with evangelical beliefs avoid most, 34 percent say guilt, 34 percent say fear, and 32 percent say shame. For Americans worshiping at least once a month, 37 percent say shame, 32 percent say fear, and 31 percent say guilt. (The findings were not significantly different from non-evangelicals or non-worshipers.)
McConnell wonders whether Americans see shame as a bigger threat to their reputation or self-worth than guilt.
“Guilt says, ‘I deserve to be punished,’” he said. “But shame says, ‘I am worthless.’”Now, briefly to that next question. When asked to respond about "desires" that are strongest in their lives, respondents had the chance to choose from a number of options: 40 percent said personal freedom, while 31 percent said respect and 28 percent said the “desire to overcome.” Here's a summary statement: "The more Americans attend religious services, the less they value personal freedom."
Finally, there's the "directions" question: i.e which direction respondents value the most. Some clarification here. The options were: 1) Reaching my potential, 2) Bringing honor to family and friends, and 3) Having friends in high places. Just over half of Americans valued reaching their potential, and 46 percent valued bringing honor to family and friends. But, only 3% chose the "friends in high places" option. Instead, Americans were split almost down the middle between reaching their potential (51%) and bringing honor to family and friends (46%).
The article stated that McConnell "said that Americans are ambitious...but it’s not always ambition for its own sake." He related, "We want the people we love to be proud of us," adding, “Few of us want to let our family and friends down.” He is skeptical about the responses about having friends in high places and wonders if people don't want to admit that they want that.
Again, as the LifeWay leader said, "It’s that risk to our reputation is what matters most."
Also, from McConnell: “Guilt says, ‘I deserve to be punished,’” he said. “But shame says, ‘I am worthless.’”
Let's think together about some principles related to the survey: For one thing, we should be concerned about possessing a good reputation. But, we should not also be overly fearful of what people think about us. I think there's a tension there. We are called to walk from what the Bible calls the "fear of man." But, we are also ambassadors for Christ, so we want people to think well of us for His sake. And, for the Christian, that may just be where the tension eases: if we are living not to please men, but to please God, we can have the confidence that He is working through us and will produce His fruit and His reputation.
I do believe we should be concerned about the perception of other people. Carefree actions can lead to careless damage to the Kingdom. But, we have to be confident of our identity in Christ. In using McConnell's definition of shame as a feeling of worthlessness, if you believe you are worthless, or are saddle with either false guilt over what you may have done or true guilt over past sins, it will restrict the joy and peace we project. The confession of our sin and the confidence we possess in the presence of the indwelling Christ can give us a life of freedom, rather than paralyzing concern over our reputation. We can strive, in His strength, to please God above all else. That may place us at odds with the world, and is likely to do so, but we can experience a clear conscience.
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