A Father's Voice

The Bible teaches us that we are accountable for our actions. The choices we make have consequences, and when we sin, we are responsible for the fallout. And, while we should certainly take the steps of confession and repentance, there may be some management of consequences, including direct attempts to restore relationships. Ezekiel 18 is very direct:
20 The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
21 "But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die.

A key point here: before we came to Christ, we have to admit that we need Him - that we are sinners in need of a Savior.  And, even though we have been born again, we continue to have to admit that need. We also can, as you might say, "own" our sin and take the Biblical steps to deal with it.  When we confess our sins, we can receive the sweet forgiveness of our Savior and be restored to Him.  But, denial of our wrongdoing can lead to harmful consequences. 

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It is important that each of us takes personal responsibility for our own actions. When we do sin, we can and should take the steps to make things right. Galatians chapter 6 states:
4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
5 For each one shall bear his own load.
6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

There continues to be great content that is being released concerning viewpoints on the sanctity of life. I hope you were inspired by conversations that were featured in January for Sanctity of Human Life Month on The Meeting House.  And, we recognize that the defense of life is an ongoing practice.

And, it's a practice for not only women, but also men. A new poll conducted by Lifeway Research for Care Net, which is a network of pro-life ministries, including pregnancy resource centers, shows the degree of influence that men have in the life-or-death decision regarding the abortion of the child that they have produced with a woman. The survey summary says: "The study reveals men with pregnant partners play a significant role in the decision to have an abortion but may not be aware of how much influence they have." The summary states that the study "...surveyed 1,000 American men whose partners had an abortion after he made her pregnant and who knew about the pregnancy prior to the abortion."

The initial responses of these fathers was examined, with just over half reporting being "nervous" about the pregnancy, and a little more than 4-in-10 saying they were "scared."  Just under a third were "happy" about the pregnancy.

Then the data shifts to relating how men interacted with their female partners regarding the future of the pregnancy and their pre-born child.  The summary states:

In making their decision, 42% of men whose partners had an abortion say they encouraged the woman to do so, with 12% saying they strongly urged her to do so. Around 3 in 10 (31%) say they didn’t give any advice. More than 1 in 4 (27%) say they advised their partner not to have an abortion, including 8% who strongly urged her to not go through with it.

Some of the reasons that men tried to persuade the mothers to have an abortion: readiness to be a father, finances, and the long-term prospects of their relationship.  

Scott McConnell, executive director of Lifeway Research, stated: “Many abortions occur because men are urging their partner to terminate the pregnancy,” adding, “However, around 3 in 10 men give their partners no advice even in situations where she discusses the decision with him.”

The findings show that men do not see their critical role in the decision to save or terminate the life of their child. The summary states that: "...2 in 3 men whose partners had an abortion say the expectation is that the decision belongs to the woman, including 21% who say it is the woman’s choice and the man has no role to play and 46% who say it is the woman’s choice but the man should have some input."

About a-third of the men were married, with just under another third living with their partner.

Roland Warren, President and CEO of Care Net, is quoted as saying: "Nobody can deny that men have significant influence in many abortion decisions,” said Warren. “Both women and men who have faced an unplanned pregnancy say the man is consulted in the majority of cases and is most frequently cited as having the most influence.”  75% of the men surveyed said that the woman had discussed abortion with them, with 40% of respondents believing the man has the most influence of everyone with whom their partners spoke.

And, these couples who have produced a child together have a seemingly unused support system in the local church.  Around two-thirds of these men surveyed self-identified as Christians.  But, they didn't want to seek help and counsel from the Church; "...only 36% of men whose partners have had an abortion would recommend someone discuss an unplanned pregnancy with someone at a local church. Half (49%) would not."  Warren notes, “Fear of shame and condemnation appears to be deterring Christians from talking about their unplanned pregnancies with others in the church—those they would otherwise trust as sources of hope and help,” adding, “Specifically, some Christian men seem more afraid of how an unplanned pregnancy coming to light could damage their reputation than they’re concerned about the ramifications of an abortion. This should be a challenge to church leaders to change the way they handle and respond to unplanned pregnancies.”

Care Net will be sponsoring a conference in Dallas next month at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, which is pastored by Dr. Tony Evans, who will be one of the speakers.  It's a pro-life conference for men entitled, "Called and Missioned." Other speakers include Stephen Arteburn, Samuel Rodriguez, Amy Ford, and Roland Warren. 

Biology speaks clearly: it takes two individuals to produce a child.  Men have a part to play, and a responsibility before God to live out and apply His principles.  In this crisis, rather than shirk that responsibility, men should be providing support and encouragement.  And, ideally, should be adamant in choosing life. 

We also recognize that God has His plan for the establishment of families: men and women united as one flesh in Him.  Then, they can "be fruitful and multiply."  Pregnancies and births will occur outside of that divine order, and while not God's best, still produce a living person, and God can redeem even the corruption of His excellent intent.  Witness the incidents in the lineage of our Savior where human beings violated God's intent, yet He continued to bless that line of succession. 

But after our sin, whatever that sin might be, we have to own it.  We have the ability to repent and come to the Lord for forgiveness and restoration.  And, God will give us the grace and wisdom to deal with the consequences according to His principles.