Keys to Marital Stability

There are marvelous things that occur in community - that's a dynamic for human beings in general and certainly within the body of Christ. There's a Scripture passage that contains phrases that have been used to apply to the marriage relationship, and we find it in Ecclesiastes 4:
9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

A threefold cord - that has been used in the context of marriage to illustrate the importance of a man, a woman, and God cooperating in a marital relationship that is built on His foundation. While there are those that eschew marriage and do not hold a high view of it, we recognize that God has ordained marriage and has wonderful intentions for it.  By committing ourselves to Christ in our marriages and even before marriage, doing things His way, we please Him and can experience a sense of satisfaction and stability.

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God has purpose for marriage - He has placed His blessing on the institution and intends for people to come together and enter into marriage according to His ways. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the Church. Ephesians 5 says:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

The concept of marriage, an institution that was established by God in the book of Genesis, is an essential building block of an orderly, functioning society.  When people reject the concept, chaos follows, and the effectiveness of the family suffers. A recent National Review piece underscores what has occurred, societally speaking:

The traditional model of marriage — not always honored in practice, but as the societal ideal — was to marry young without living together first, and with the aim of a lifetime commitment. The supposedly sophisticated critique of this model has argued that young people should do other things besides form families, that one should try on multiple relationships first, that 21-25-year-olds aren’t mature enough for lifetime commitments, and that living together first is a good test run of whether the relationship will endure.

National Marriage Project director W. Bradford Wilcox and Lyman Stone, described as a "demographer," offer these comments, which can be found on the Institute for Family Studies website, and are based on a recent study:

Our analyses indicate that religious men and women who married in their twenties without cohabiting first . . . have the lowest odds of divorce in America today. We suspect one advantage that religious singles in their twenties have over their secular peers is that they are more likely to have access to a pool of men and women who are ready to tie the knot and share their vision of a family-focused life. Today, young singles like this are often difficult to find in the population at large . . . Shared faith is linked to more sexual fidelity, greater commitment and higher relationship quality.

 A Washington Examiner piece states: 

This should come as no surprise. Religion grounds people and offers a shared set of values. It provides community and purpose, both of which are vital in marriage.

Our culture desperately needs to return to this form of traditional marriage. Premarital cohabitation won’t make anyone happier — in fact, it’s much more likely to lead to heartbreak down the road.

 Wilcox and Stone also state:

Many young adults today believe cohabitation is also a pillar of successful marriages, one reason why more than 70% of those who marry today live together before marriage. But the conventional wisdom here is wrong: Americans who cohabit before marriage are less likely to be happily married and more likely to break up. Couples who cohabited were 15% more likely to get divorced than those who did not, according to our research.

The article at the IFS site says:

The conventional wisdom holds that spending your twenties focusing on education, work and fun, and then marrying around 30 is the best path to maximize your odds of forging a strong and stable family life. But the research tells a different story, at least for religious couples. Saving cohabitation for marriage, and endowing your relationship with sacred significance, seems to maximize your odds of being stably and happily married.

A key question is: do we want a stable society?  Or are we satisfied with disorder and a disregard for the principles of God?  When we do what is right in our own eyes, we reject what God has in store for us. Turning aside from His principles regarding marriage is a principle for disaster.  That is why the so-called Respect for Marriage Act is big trouble, and we should pray that this bill, which has now been folded into a larger appropriations bill to keep the government running, will be defeated.

We can recognize that marriages that are centered on Christ can bring stability to our own lives and can send a strong message to our culture - after all, the institution of marriage is a representation of Christ's relationship to His Church.  When we are loving as Christ loved, there is much joy and satisfaction that comes.  Following His principles and doing things in the right way - in the right order - concerning marriage can bring longevity and stability in the marriage relationship.