Faith in Loss

When we encounter heartbreak, when we have seen tragedy in our lives, perhaps the death of a loved one, we can be assured that, even in our deepest sense of grief and loss, God is there to meet us. 2nd Corinthians 1 states:
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.

God works in our times of suffering, so that we might experience the fullness of His presence and know His love. When we go through a time of trial, we can be confident that He is there, and He is working in our hearts for our good and His glory.  We may not see, or may never see, the end result, but we can know we are not forgotten.  So, when we experience that heartache, we can turn to the healer and know His love. 

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When we suffer loss and pain, we can take our burdens before the Lord and allow His love, peace, and comfort to fill our hearts and minds. Psalm 34 states:
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

The apparent abduction and death of a Birmingham teenager in Aruba is a story that has had enormous longevity, stirring emotions and causing great concern.  But, the longtime suspected murderer, a Dutch man named Joran van der Sloot, was never convicted for the crime - and still has not been.  In a Birmingham courtroom recently, as part of a plea deal stemming from a case in which he was charged with trying to extort money from the young lady's mother, he confessed to taking the life of young Natalee Holloway, who was in Aruba as part of a senior trip in 2005. van der Sloot had been extradited to America from Peru, where he is serving a sentence for murdering a young lady there.  Sadly, as a result of his plea, he will not serve extra jail time. 

It's a heartbreaking story that took some 18 years in which to gain closure.  Personally, I thought it was within the realm of possibility that perhaps Natalee had been abducted and might have even been trafficked. The parents were just seeking for answers - and closure.  Both her father, David Holloway, and her mother, Beth Holloway, who are divorced made impact statements in court. 

The Daily Mail reported:

In the written statement that Beth read aloud in court, she said: 'Extreme emotional loss and pain really can't be comprehended by those who haven't lived a devastating tragedy like ours, and I have also suffered great professional and financial loss.'

The bereaved mother moved to Aruba after her daughter's death in a desperate bid to uncover what had become of her.

Today she revealed she had lost her teaching license and tenure as a result and had to go back to school to have her license reinstated.

She added: 'Since 2010 when you extorted me and tried to sell me her bodily remains, I incurred attorney and investigative expenses that totally about $215,000.'

Her father stated, according to the Daily Mail: "We were robbed of a promising future together with our beautiful, talented Natalee. And now we know who took that future from us."

The report continues:

Asking the judge to sentence Van der Sloot 'to the fullest extent of the law' Holloway said: 'Despite everything he has done to us, he is not sorry for what he did. He expresses no remorse, regret or even compassion for committing the horrific crime that violently ended Natalee's life and irreparably changed the trajectory of all of ours.'

He branded her daughter's killer, 'evil personified'.

He said of his daughter: 'We never saw her pursue her dream of becoming a doctor. We never saw her dance again. We never saw Natalee celebrate another birthday or Christmas, walk down the aisle as a bride or rock her newborn.'

For his part, Holloway said he takes some solace in his belief in a 'higher power' that will pronounce the ultimate judgment on Van der Sloot.

For Beth what cold comfort there is comes in knowing Van der Sloot will be in prison until he's and old man while she will always live with 'wonderful memories of a beautiful young lady who had her whole life in front of her.'

She said: 'Natalie will be 18 forever in my heart. She was smart and so accomplished, and I have no doubt she would have made all her dreams come true.

'She had real hope. The hope that filled her heart fills mine, and I will wake up every day remembering who she was.'

For what it's worth, van der Sloot, according to The Christian Post, said, "I am not the same kind of person today as I was then, I have given my heart to Jesus Christ..." Natalee's sister, Kaitlyn, and brother, Matt, were not convinced.

You would hope that is true.  But, there certainly is a real faith element in this story and spiritual forces at play.  Both parents, having written books about their ordeal, have also made statements about the role of their Christian faith in their endurance.

A story in The Meridian Star in Mississippi, in 2006 recounted the early details.  David spoke of being informed that Natalee had not flown out of Aruba.  He relates that his pastor called: "...he was out of town but we had prayer over the phone and the last thing I remember was 'God help David’s family get through this situation.'"  He said:

I hung on that. I still do. Every day I still remember that time I had prayer with my pastor before I left. That’s what’s gotten us through it, keeping an optimistic approach about it — that we’ll either find her or we’ll find out what happened.

David was a guest on The Meeting House a few years ago, and he shared his perspective and how his Christian faith helped sustain him during this difficult time.  A CBN.com article detailed some of Beth's perspective expressed during a trip to Aruba:

After several days of searching for her daughter, chasing rumors and tips of possible sightings, Beth’s anger and frustration were mounting. She knew she was caving in and asked a cab driver to take her to a church.

“The foundation of my faith is built on the teachings of Jesus Christ,” says Beth.

Having prayed constantly, Beth felt the need to pray harder. The cab driver left the resort area and took her to a white cross. Beth looked beyond it to see a long row of crosses leading up the hillside. At the cross, Beth fell to her knees and cried. Anguished, Beth got up and moved to the next cross. As she reached the fifth cross, Beth says the answer to her prayers came.

“Complete peace blanketed me,” she says. “It’s a familiar feeling yet unknown to me like this before."  

Two parents grieving their daughter - while this has been a high-profile situation spanning the better part of two decades, it's still a story that elicits powerful emotions.  And, the scene in the Birmingham courtroom recently has thrust the Holloway story back into the headlines. 

Because it's heartbreaking, certainly.  There is uncertainty, mystery, wondering what really happened. The young man told his story, but as reporter Greta Van Susteran, who has investigated the story, tweeted out: "He killed her..but this ‘confession’ is a lie to trick the prosecutor and judge into getting a sweetheart deal."  And, indeed, there will be no more punishment for van der Sloot - he'll serve more time in Peru and that will be it.  But, he will stand, as it was pointed out, before the ultimate, righteous Judge.  I would hope that his confession that he is now a Christian is true, but quite frankly, in our own human understanding, it's hard to believe someone who has been so cold, so calloused, so dishonest, can have a genuine faith experience.  But, we also know that God's grace is greater.

Meanwhile, the Holloway family, really two families, have a deep sense of loss, not unlike what some families in our listening audience have experienced.  And, it is in the midst of loss where we can discover a deeper trust in the sufficiency of Christ.  The loss of any loved one is devastating occurrence, but when someone's child is involved, it's especially heart-rendering, according to those who have gone through it.  But, God's comfort is available and He is near to the broken-hearted, according to the Scriptures.