Blessings of Marriage

In the 5th chapter of Ephesians, Paul likens the God-ordained institution of marriage with the relationship with Jesus and His bride, the Church. As the chapter wraps us, he writes:
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

God has given us our spouses as a precious gift, and He has wonderful intent for marriage. That is not to say if a person is not married, that God cannot use that person - that is certainly not the case. We can seek to fulfill the will of God in whatever marital state that we are in, and, by the power of the Spirit, allow the Spirit to lead and fill us, working through us to accomplish the purposes of God.  And, we recognize, for the married, there is much that the Lord wants to do through couples who are devoted to Him.

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When dealing with issues related to marriage and family, I like to go to what Jesus taught in Matthew chapter 10, which encompasses the heart of God from the beginning. Jesus said:
6 But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'
7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
8 and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

Now that the Super Bowl has passed, the relationship between Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and pop superstar Taylor Swift seems to have disappeared from the headlines.  Some would say thankfully so. Travis has an older brother, Jason, who recently announced his retirement from pro football, having spent the last 13 years in the NFL.

In a recent Daily Wire article, noted family expert Brad Wilcox of the American Enterprise Institute and the Institute for Family Studies used the elder Kelce's retirement speech to make a point about the impact of marriage.  He related comments that Jason made, including, "It’s no coincidence I have enjoyed my best years with Kylie by my side." He said that Kylie "has brought the best out of me," citing her "love, devotion, support, honesty," and "intelligence..." He also noted:

I think one of the best things a person can be in this world is a father. A father who is present, devoted, and loving is the greatest gift a child could ask for in our society.

Wilcox, who will be featured in a web event co-sponsored by Focus on the Family and the Colson Center this coming Monday, related:

Today, our culture tells us two myths. The first myth is that the path to happiness runs away from family, rather than towards it. Controversial cultural figures, like Andrew Tate or Pearl Davis, view marriage as a bad deal for men and are broadly skeptical of, in their eyes, selfish women.

The other: "...that father-present homes are of no great importance to our kids."

So, what does research show?  Well, Wilcox notes:

The data tell us that no group of men are happier than married fathers. Based on data from the 2022 General Social Survey, 35% of prime-aged, married men with children report being “very happy.” Barely 14% of prime-aged, unmarried men without children could report the same. The happiness premium for married fathers is significant and worth promoting.

Wilcox is the author of Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization, and he relates in the Daily Wire article:

The data from my new book, “Get Married,” also shows that children who grow up in intact families are much more likely to graduate from college and steer clear of trouble. In fact, 38% of young men from intact families graduate from college compared to 15% of their peers in households headed by a single mother. A greater share of women in intact families (49%) graduate from college, compared to 24% of women from households headed by a single mother. The data are clear: children raised in intact families have a far greater likelihood of graduating from college.

Yesterday's Breakpoint commentary with John Stonestreet, heard on Faith Radio, stated:

Writing at UnHerd, sociologist Brad Wilcox and the Institute for Family Studies’ David Bass pointed to new research from the University of Chicago that suggests that “Americans who are married with children are now leading happier and more prosperous lives, on average, than men and women who are single and childless.” And, it’s not just a little bit happier. According to Wilcox and Bass, there is a “startling 30-percentage-point happiness divide between married and unmarried Americans.” 

Yet, marriage is on the decline, as Stonestreet and co-writer Shane Morris note, and they related this morsel:

According to Wilcox and Bass, there are various reasons for the decline, but among the most telling is the decline of religious affiliation and commitment. Religious people tend to wed and stay married at a higher rate. So, our marriage problem is, at root, a worldview problem, fed not only by the misleading portrayals of entertainment and media, but also by the terrible experience the last few generations of young adults have had in their own upbringing. Marriage is part of God’s plan for humanity and for His creation. No other human institution forges such lasting and consequential bonds, and no other human institution brings such personal and social damage when it fails.

So, it seems as if many Americans reject what is best for them. Yes, there have been widespread marital failures, and young people, having observed these, perhaps in their own families, have been reticent to pursue it. But the data is clear. The Breakpoint writers note that marriage is "part of God's plan." And, married fathers, as the Daily Wire piece relates, are the happiest men in the country. There is a simple principle: God's way is best. A life of obedience is a blessed life - think about Deuteronomy and the lists of blessings and curses - what made the difference?  Obedience.  

Obviously, that doesn't mean that marriage is a command; singleness is not a sin. But, to reject marriage or any other opportunity that God might be giving us just because it hasn't worked for some is to reject a tremendous blessing that God has in store for us. And, yes, we should be pursuing a life that reflects the hand of God.  People like Wilcox and Stonestreet are calling for individuals to reject the cynicism of the world and open themselves up what God might have in store. 

And, once married, couples should strive to make that marriage the very best they can - under the authority of the Holy Spirit. Marriage isn't simply a contract or the by-product of a wedding ceremony - it is a covenant, ordained by God, intended for His glory.  And, He desires that those who pledge themselves to one another take the necessary steps to grow in their love for Him and for one another. 

You can learn more about the "Lighthouse Voices" livestream event with Brad Wilcox and John Stonestreet from Focus on the Family next Monday, April 15 at 6:00pm Central time by going to the Colson Center or Focus on the Family websites.