Parents + Church = Positive Growth

While parents are given the primary responsibility to raise their children and to teach them the ways of the Lord, the partnership with the local church can be vibrant and effective. Parents can rely on the Lord to strengthen their families and to mold a right relationship with their children. Deuteronomy 6 has this exhortation:
6 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The Lifeway Research website published a summary of a new study exploring the relationship between parents and student ministry. It announces:

A study from Lifeway Students and Lifeway Research explores the perspective of churchgoing parents of teenagers and those who lead student ministries in local churches. Both emphasize the spiritual health of their students and say they want to work together to see the next generation become disciples of Christ.

The indicators are good; for instance, the survey found: "Around 9 in 10 parents (89%) feel they have a great relationship with the leader of their church’s student ministry. For their part, only 16% of student ministry leaders say they feel tension with parents, while 79% disagree."

Lifeway surveyed just over a thousand parents with at least one student in grades 6-12. The report notes that "When asked their biggest priority for their student’s future, 2 in 5 (41%) say their main goal is spiritual well-being."

Around 7 out of 10 parents described as "churchgoing" report that they are "actively" promoting their children to practice the Christian faith, with a similar percentage reporting that effort has been successful.  But, high numbers of parents report concern over their students not pursuing that faith due to worldly influences.  

And, there's a significant percentage of parents who don't reflect confidence in their ability to perform the task of helping with their students' spiritual development. The summary states: "Most parents (62%) say they’re equipped to help their student develop spiritually, while 36% feel the opposite. Yet, 94% agree they want to become more equipped for this, and just 5% disagree." 72% say they are willing to partner with student ministry leaders.

Those ministry leaders are also desirous of partnering with parents; the Lifeway Research summary article says: "Around 7 in 10 say they’d want to increase their equipping of parents with tools to disciple their students (70%) and training of parents to disciple their students (67%)."

Over 7 out of 10 student ministry leaders say they see parents "concerned" about the spiritual growth of their students and involved in the process. But..."Despite all the desire to partner with parents and do more training, most student ministry leaders (57%) say they don’t have a clearly defined strategy for ministering to parents."

But, these church leaders report some difficulty in helping parents to teach their kids at home.  The summary notes:

Around 3 in 4 (73%) say they have sought to partner with parents to encourage spiritual activities at home, but some have been disappointed with the results.

More than 2 in 5 leaders who have tried to partner (43%) say parents don’t even try to engage at home in the spiritual activities they suggest, while 40% of leaders say the parents at least try it. Three in 10 (30%) say the parents like it, but half as many (15%) say the students enjoy it.

In the article, Chad Higgins, coauthor of a book called Define the Relationship: Growing a Parent Ministry that Brings Families and Churches Together, which correlates with this data, is quoted as saying, “For believing parents, a key goal is that their teenagers develop a genuine faith in Christ—a desire shared by student ministry leaders,” adding, “Both want students to grow spiritually healthy and mature in their walk with Christ. To align on this, we need to move beyond tracking church attendance as the sole measure of faithfulness and help parents understand and discuss terms like ‘spiritually healthy’ or ‘growing in Christ’ in meaningful ways.”

It does seem as if priorities is a big component here - if parents prioritize their children's relationship with Christ and student ministry leaders are doing the same thing, then the common goals could drive a productive relationship.  But, Christian parents should make sure that they realize that the primary responsibility is theirs to teach Biblical truth and to generate an atmosphere for growth in and through their homes. The Church is a great source of truth and direction and can be a valuable resource as it supports the work of the parents and is devoted to providing an excellent spiritual foundations for families. 

This research shows that there is a "want to" on the part of parents and student ministries, but the numbers could definitely be better. But, we can recognize that these two amazing institutions - the family and the Church - ordained by God - when working together, can produce incredible spiritual growth and impact the next generation in its knowledge of God and practice of Christian faith.