Not Special But Unique

In Romans 12, we are told to have an accurate view of ourselves, not viewing ourselves as the center of the universe, or possessing a conceited point of view.   Verses 2 and 3 say that:
2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.3For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

It's so important that we make Jesus the center of our lives and recognize that the ability to accomplish - well, it's given to us by Him.  The life that we have - it's a gift from God.  The blessings we receive - I believe we attribute them to the hand of the Lord.   The wholesome qualities that we should desire - only through recognizing His presence in us and acknowledging that without Him, we can do nothing.  He gives us the power to live a fulfilling life, to walk in His love, and to please Him.

There's a difficult passage in Luke 17, where Jesus taught the virtues of selflessness and service and not seeking the praise of men.  He said:

7 And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come at once and sit down to eat'?

8But will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink'?9Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not.10So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.' "

It's graduation season, so I thought I would highlight a speech that took place a couple of years ago to remind us of some Biblical truths consistent with that passage.

The teacher took the stage to address the students of a Massachusetts high school at their graduation exercise.   After a comment about commencement being life's ceremonial beginning, he launched into statements...like...this:

Normally, I avoid clichés like the plague, wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole, but here we are on a literal level playing field. That matters. That says something. And your ceremonial costume… shapeless, uniform, one-size-fits-all. Whether male or female, tall or short, scholar or slacker, spray-tanned prom queen or intergalactic X-Box assassin, each of you is dressed, you’ll notice, exactly the same. And your diploma… but for your name, exactly the same.
All of this is as it should be, because none of you is special.

You are not special. You are not exceptional.

Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you… you’re nothing special.

Whoa - that's not exactly what you think you might hear in such as setting.   But, Wellesley high school teacher David McCullough, Jr., son of the famous historian, was far from finished.  The transcript was posted on The Swellesley Report website.   He took aim at the entitlement mentality that he feels too many students possess and blew it to shreads:

Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped. Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie...

But do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not.

I am not endorsing the 2012 speech, and I certainly can't agree with it 100%.  But, he makes some very good points.   Take, for instance, this morsel:

Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians… 37,000 class presidents… 92,000 harmonizing altos… 340,000 swaggering jocks… 2,185,967 pairs of Uggs. But why limit ourselves to high school? After all, you’re leaving it. So think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you. Imagine standing somewhere over there on Washington Street on Marathon Monday and watching sixty-eight hundred yous go running by. And consider for a moment the bigger picture: your planet, I’ll remind you, is not the center of its solar system, your solar system is not the center of its galaxy, your galaxy is not the center of the universe. In fact, astrophysicists assure us the universe has no center; therefore, you cannot be it.

And, in closing, he says: "Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them.  And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special."

This reminded me of content that parenting guru John Rosemond and I discussed on The Meeting House. And, I located a piece he wrote that sounds strikingly similar to McCullough's contentions.   By the way, McCullough has released a book centered around that speech.

I located a column that Rosemond did back in 2012 that emphasizes courage over self-confidence. From The Courant website, we can read:

Teachers were told that constant praise would elevate academic performance, but social scientists have found that people with high self-esteem consistently underperform. They believe anything they do is worthy of merit; therefore, they tend not to put forth their best efforts. It is worth mentioning that as praise in schools has gone up, test scores have gone down.

And so, and once again, we discover that there is nothing new under the sun. The traditional ideal of humility and modesty appears to be the most functional state of self-regard. That should humble folks who believe that new ideas are better than old ones (but it won't).

History is replete with humble and modest people who accomplished great things. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are two outstanding examples. Their accomplishments were not the result of thinking highly of themselves, but of dedication to causes much larger than themselves.

Besides, I will propose that courage, not self-confidence, is what parents should be attempting to help their children develop. The research strongly suggests that self-confident people either are (a) hesitant to take on challenges unless they believe they are going to succeed, (b) so sure of succeeding that they foolishly expose themselves and others to high risk situations.

The Bible teaches not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought to think.   Jesus acknowledged that without the Father, He could do nothing.  Applied to the Christian life, I believe the one of the principal lessons for us from McCullough and Rosemond would be consistent with the call to deny self and live in the power of the Spirit.   A productive and satisfying Christian life is predicated on responding to God's call to be selfless.

And what about being special?   Well, you are unique, fearfully and wonderfully made, created by God - so in that sense, you are shaped in a special way.   But, in the sense of being entitled to praise and deserving of special privileges, well, not so much - and that's a point of McCullough's speech.   He is calling young people away from an attitude that they are entitled just because they're human, the "center of the universe" mentality. When we take our eyes off ourselves and place them on the Lord, who will direct us to the needs of the people around us, then we can discover the joys of the surrendered life.   The world does not revolve around us, but we are called to allow our lives to be centered on Jesus and our relationship with Him.