Speak Up

There is a passage in 1st Timothy 5 that deals with how we are to regard those who serve in spiritual
leadership in the church. We can read:
17 Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine.
18 For the Scripture says, "You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain," and, "The laborer is worthy of his wages."
19 Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.

We have been gifted with so many people whom God has sent to teach His Word to us and to strengthen us in our spiritual walk. That is something that is not to be taken for granted.  And, we recognize that they, while having this incredible God-given role, are human beings; they face struggles and temptations, like we all do.  They have the responsibilities for the care of themselves and their families, and face the challenges of an occupation - in their case, a job that affects the spiritual condition of the lives that have been entrusted to them.  Pray - and affirm!

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The commemoration of Pastor and Staff Appreciation Month gives us the opportunity to reflect on
our exercise of respect and affirmation for those who serve in spiritual authority. Hebrews 13 says:
17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.
18 Pray for us; for we are confident that we have a good conscience, in all things desiring to live honorably.

Just over a month ago, a California pastor took his own life, and his wife is taking this opportunity to speak out about mental illness and how the Church can be more equipped to deal with it.  The pastor's name was Andrew Stoecklein, and he served as senior pastor at Inland Hills Church in Chino, California. According to a Faithwire story, Andrew...

...had been battling depression and anxiety for a number of months before taking his own life August 25. He was just 30 years old and left behind a wife and three sons. In the wake of his untimely death, Stoecklein’s widow, Kayla, has been posting regular updates as she and her family grieve the loss of this embattled man of God.

The warning signs were there, and became even more clear to Kayla after her husband's death.  The story points out that the two of them addressed the church not long before he died.  He discussed his father's death in 2015 and the subsequent grief.  The article says that:

The pastor said that even though his church was “thriving, growing and moving,” he was “crumbling, exhausted, weak and tired.”

The Stoeckleins also faced harassment from someone online and in person.  The pastor said that he was “not easy to live with” during that season.  He was undergoing therapy and the article says that Kayla expressed her regret for not attending every session, saying, "I barely had time to breathe, rest, or think and I was exhausted,” adding, “If I could do it again: I would have attended every single appointment, I would have made it a priority to be there, no matter how inconvenient.”

On her blog, called, God's Got This, Kayla wrote: "As I dive deeper into this new uncharted territory of mental illness I now know that I actually knew nothing at all," adding, “I was too close to see clearly. I was consumed by my own: pain, co-burdening, and responsibilities to see my husband’s anguish. And, I wasn’t the only one who missed it.”  Only once did he reveal to his wife that he was having thoughts of taking his own life.  She said, "It was so vague and surprising that I missed it. He sort of shrugged it off as a thought that quickly passed through his mind and was gone, no big deal...”

And, as the article states, Kayla declares:

“I would have followed up every single day and every single night asking, ‘Are you having thoughts of suicide?’ I would told his psychiatrist, his therapist, and his family about our conversation,” she added. “I would not have treated it as ‘no big deal,’ or just a passing thought. I would have taken action.”

Another Faithwire story relates Kayla's devotion to the Lord:

Stoecklein said that, as she is comforting her young children in the absence of their father, she is also reminding her self that “God has big plans,” for her brave family.

“He’s not done with us yet, he’s dreaming up big dreams for my boys, and we are determined to have a happy life together on this side of heaven.”

The article reports on the description for a GoFundMe campaign that has been set up for the family which states:

“Andrew bravely confronted the topic of mental health in his last days, shedding light on illnesses that aren’t widely discussed in public or in the worldwide church,” the campaign description reads. “Kayla is committed to continuing his story by honoring the man he was, while calling for greater support for pastors in the burdens they carry. It is by their example that we can praise God and provide for their family in the midst of grief.”

There are several important concepts on which we can reflect in the aftermath of this pastor's suicide. For one thing, we recognize that none of us can relive the past but we can learn and help others live through their similar journey.  Kayla admits, sure, she could have done more, but that cannot be changed; and while there may be a sense of regret, she is now moving forward, speaking up, and encouraging others who may have a loved one who is experiencing mental health challenges.  We also can take steps to remove the stigma of those who are facing mental issues.

I think, here at the beginning of Pastor and Staff Appreciation month, we can acknowledge the pressures that are on those in spiritual authority.  Our spiritual leaders have enormous responsibilities before God, the demands of ministering to a congregation, the weight of burdens of church members, and the external pressures that come from this position.  We can be encouraged to pray and affirm those who walk in these positions.

The spiritual dynamics are enormous - it occurred to me that the Stoeckleins were stalked; and we are being stalked by a spiritual enemy, who wants to harass and destroy us.  He will come after those in the pulpit and the pews, and his mission, as Jesus put it, is to steal, kill, and destroy.  We can identify the destructive patterns that are present within our own lives, as well as to seek to take steps to allow God and His Word to control our hearts and minds.