Faith and a Fruitful Marriage

As it's been taught, we can view our spouses as gifts from God, and He desires for us to love each
other and to enjoy our time together. Ecclesiastes chapter 9 says:
9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.
10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.

This is a wonderful picture of the type of life that God wants us to experience - He has given us our spouses to love, to care for, and to have someone with whom we can enjoy living and thriving.  We can contribute to one another's well-being and be supportive of one another in our endeavors.  When the pressures of life weigh us down, we can turn not only to Christ, but to our mate and hopefully be lifted up, and we can seek to lift him or her up.

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God's intention for marriage is found in Genesis 2, the place where we can see that He established this solid institution that is foundational for our society. We can read:
18 And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Later in the chapter, we see how He fulfilled His promise:
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

On this day before Valentine's Day, I want to consider the significant contribution that religious faith can have on the martial relationship.  Certainly, we acknowledge that if the Lord is at the center of a marriage, or even a dating relationship, and couples are attempting to relate to one another with self-sacrificing love modeled after the love of Christ and applying a Christian worldview perspective in their approach to their marriage, including addressing issues Biblically, a marriage can bring glory and honor to the Lord and satisfaction to the men and women in those relationships, even as they walk through the difficult times of life.

There is research that traces the relationship between faith and family.  John Stonestreet commented on it in a Breakpoint commentary, and the transcript was posted on The Christian Post website last year.  Stonestreet and co-author Shane Morris state:

A sweeping new study by the Institute for Family Studies at Brigham Young University reveals that, in terms of both sexual satisfaction and relationship quality, highly religious couples fare better than the non-religious.

In their report, entitled, “The Ties that Bind: Is Faith a Global Force for Good or Ill in the Family?” the authors looked at data from eleven countries, including the U.S., the U.K., France, Canada, and Argentina. What they found was striking: Highly religious couples “enjoy higher-quality relationships and more sexual satisfaction,” have more children on average, and are far less likely to have cheated on their spouse.

The commentary says that the report found that "...couples who regularly attend religious services—which overwhelmingly means Christian churches—enjoyed a boost in satisfaction and relationship quality regardless of whether they identified as progressive or traditional." Stonestreet and Morris say that the authors "theorize that this may have to do with the strong correlation between religious observance and involved, committed fathers."

And, regarding the relationship between Christian faith and practice and the sexual relationship, Stonestreet says:

I’d venture that religious commitment—especially Christian commitment—serves as a silent but inescapable reminder of what sex is for. In a time when meaningless encounters are pushed over on an increasingly miserable, lonely populace, religion serves as a signpost to couples that there’s meaning to sex beyond their own pleasure, beyond their own bodies. In essence, when they become “one flesh” they participate in God’s “very good” created order.

The summary of the survey contains some interesting tidbits; some of which were shared in the Breakpoint commentary.  An interesting note has to do with families praying together.  44% of those surveyed indicated that they did pray together as a family, although only 20% indicated they did so once a week or more.  56% did not exercise family prayer.  The researchers also said:

After controlling for age, education, gender, and family finances, participants who reported daily family prayer (above and beyond prayer at worship services and meals) also reported relationship quality scores nearly a full point higher than the “never” group. This modest effect, while statistically significant, does not offer sufficient support for a blanket statement that family prayer is—by itself—a powerful glue for family relationships. However, coupled with the more in-depth qualitative response data, there is (across the 16,000-person sample) some indication that family prayer is one factor that matters to those families who unite in this connecting practice on a daily basis. Given the myriad factors that influence family lives and relationships, finding a single practice that may help to measurably move the relational quality needle in a positive direction is something that warrants attention.

About the faith-family relationship, the survey summary also says, "Religious traditions seek to foster norms—such as marital permanence and fidelity—that may strengthen or reinforce the ties binding partners to one another....Religious teachings also place a strong emphasis on love, forgiveness, respectful behavior, and putting the needs of others above one’s own. Taken together, these beliefs, as sociologists Kristen Taylor Curtis and Christopher Ellison have observed, may 'reinforce beliefs about the sanctity of marriage, while helping to define appropriate marital conduct and assisting partners in fulfilling their familial roles.'"

It's true - God's way is best.  A married couple who is devoted to Christ has tools available in order to be able to have a thriving relationship that honors Him.  I can testify personally to that!  This is research that is consistent with that point of view. 

We recognize that the application of God's principles can work on a micro level in our individual relationships, but helps on a macro level to further a more ordered society, based on tried-and-true norms that can be traced to the teachings of the Bible.