Carrying On

God said after His creation of Adam that it was not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve, a helpmate for Him - He determined that husband and wife would bear children, that they would "be fruitful and multiply." It's a simple and profound plan, and the family has been a building block of the Kingdom of God and orderly societies for centuries. Psalm 68 says:
5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.
6 God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Again, Adam was alone, God gave Him a family.  And, I believe we have all been placed into families by God - and the natural order is for a husband and wife to bring forth children. But, we recognize, as it's been said, that a marriage is made up of two "sinners," who bring sinners into the world.  Thank God, He has sent His Son to redeem us all, and parents have the responsibility to teach, train, and model that principles of God, a task for which He equips them. 

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There's a passage in 1st Peter 4 that applies to human relationships in general and that I think can also address family concerns. We can read this:
8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."
9 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.
10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
11 If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Just the other day in the checkout line at the grocery store, I caught sight the cover of a magazine that stood out from the rest of the normal fare of the royal family or famous actors' marital travail.  It was a picture of some people whom I have met, the "stars," if you will of an enduring and endearing reality show that spawned another one.

Yes, there on the cover of People Magazine, was a picture of members of the Duggar family, the ones with the television show which had numerous names - the title was a number followed by "Kids and Counting," and the number was changing fairly regularly with a new member of the family, which eventually became 19.  The spin-off series was called, Counting On, and was centered on the married children of the family.

Now, there is no longer a Duggar reality show, but reality has certainly taken its toll.  The family's main challenge is no doubt the behavior of the oldest son, Josh.  According to another People feature, in April of this year, "he was arrested in Arkansas and charged with receiving and possessing child pornography. He plead not guilty."  

This comes after his 2015 situation, in which "Josh — married to Anna since 2008 and father to six kids with her — apologized for his "wrongdoing" after a 2006 police report revealed that he had been investigated as a teen for inappropriately touching five underage girls. TLC promptly canceled the family's show." It was reported he had an account on a website that is devoted to arranging for spouses to cheat on their mates. The article says, "Josh ultimately confessed to having a pornography addiction and cheating on his wife in an apologetic statement on the Duggar family website."  It also reported that after the revelations, "Josh spent six months at a faith-based rehab center in Rockford, Illinois, soon after, then returned home to Arkansas where he continued counseling and entered marriage therapy with Anna."

But, having a sibling who is in trouble certainly can take its toll. Two of the Duggar daughters admitted they had been victimized by Josh. But, they were also not pleased with the release of the information. Daughter Jill told Megan Kelly, "I see it as a re-victimization that's a thousand times worse because this is something that was already dealt with," adding, "We've already forgiven Josh. We've already moved on."

10 of the Duggar children are now married, and there are 13 grandkids - and counting. 

There has also been some distance between several of the siblings and their family home. 

Jill is married to Derick Dillard, and she left Counting On before its eventual cancellation. People reports:

"Our threshold — we like to call it — is a little bit lower in this season of life for us," Jill said in a 2021 YouTube video, adding that she, Derick and their two sons have "a lot going on for us in our own lives," particularly with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

Of the couple's choice not to have set foot in the Duggar family home for several years, Derick added, "There's a lot of triggers there."

And, the most recent People article, the cover story, highlight more Duggar fractures, reporting that in "...October 2016, Jinger (Duggar) Vuolo along with her new husband Jeremy Vuolo, began to put distance between herself and her family by moving to Laredo, Texas, then to Los Angeles."

One of those "unnamed" sources told the publication, "They aren't as close as they once were because of all of Josh's legal drama," adding, "It's creating a lot of stress on them — although the majority of the family is acting like nothing has happened."  

That story also reports that adult siblings Jinger and Jeremy...

...released statements saying they were "disturbed" by the child porn allegations against Josh and wanted "justice." It was a bold departure from Jim Bob and Michelle's statement, which read: "It is our prayer that the truth, no matter what it is, will come to light ... We love Josh and Anna and continue to pray for their family."

It seems to me that the Duggars are portrayed as a quirky, religious family whose kids have been raised with a strict upbringing.  But, whatever their foibles or flaws, this family has entertained American television viewers for a lengthy period of time.  And, to me, it seems that Josh is the exception, rather than the rule - and when you consider the percentages, Jim Bob and Michelle have raised children in a Christian environment, passed on their faith, and trained a number of them to be self-sufficient outside the home.  

But, my goodness, none of them are perfect!  Neither are we.  And, each of us, created in God's image also have that sinful seed of humanity that needs to be redeemed by Jesus.  Families are made of imperfect people and will have issues, but we can also recognize that family members are God's gifts to one another - there is a divine purpose there.  And, relationships can be complicated and confrontational - we can trust God to give each of us the grace and ability to work through those areas of dysfunction. 

There is hope and wisdom available in working through the decisions that all of us must make, including decisions that affect the remainder of our families.  Again, we are not perfect, and parents have to be careful that the imperfection does not become condemnation.  But, we have glorious opportunities to walk through this earth together with our spouses, siblings, children, and grandchildren, and we can relish what God has ordained.