Boys to Men

Our Lord Jesus, in His earthly ministry, demonstrated patterns of life that can be helpful to us today, and we can be reminded that we are empowered and directed by the Holy Spirit to live a life that honors Him. In John chapter 1, we can read:
12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:
13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

A coming-of-age movie about a troubled young man who discovers the importance of character, rooted in a relationship with Christ, continues to hold on in theaters after over a month of release.  

An article at Religion Unplugged by Joseph Holmes states the the film, "follows Isaiah, a high school graduate living at home with his mom, Cynthia...with no plans for the future. After his mom threatens to start charging him rent to live there, Isaiah is taken under the wing by a man who promises to help him become the man God is calling him to be."

The article is critical of the film, but is fair in pointing out that, "The film deserves credit for tackling the problems of wayward young men. Men in our society are falling behind in school, dropping out of the workforce, abandoning marriage and parenthood and increasingly ending their lives."  While Holmes believes the film could have offered a different take on Joshua's plight, stating, "The film largely ignores putting us in Isaiah’s point of view or understanding his perspective."  And, Holmes believes the movie runs the risk of turning young men away from the Christian faith. 

But, Paul Asay of Plugged In quoted from film director Alex Kendrick in his review; he said: “We realize that some people are not going to like our movies, and we are totally OK with that,” adding,“But those that do, [those] that we can encourage and help go deeper in their faith, praise the Lord.”  Asay adds, referring to the mentor character, Joshua Moore:

And that’s really what The Forge is all about: An exhortation for Christians to go deeper.

“The Lord doesn’t need more lukewarm churchgoers,” Joshua says. “We need more believers who are wholeheartedly following Jesus.”

Why? Joshua shows us every moment he’s on screen. We see what total commitment costs—and what harvest it reaps. We see how one man can completely transform another man’s life—and how that transformation can exponentially grow. According to the Pew Research Center, 210 million people in the United States identify as Christian. Can you imagine what would happen if every one of those 210 million people were as committed to Christ as Joshua? If they gave so much of their time and treasure?

Regarding Isaiah's entry into manhood, Asay writes:

“A big part of becoming a man is showing up,” Joshua tells Isaiah.

The Forge shows us just how true that is. Isaiah’s father hurt Isaiah just as much by what he didn’t do as what he did. “He made all these promises,” Isaiah says. “[He’d] stop drinking, get a job, pick me up from practice—all lies.”

But as much as Isaiah doesn’t want to be his father, Cynthia sees Isaiah turning into him. He fails to show up and return his mom’s car on time. He oversleeps and shows up late for work. The process of becoming a dependable man isn’t always easy, and Isaiah’s story arc shows its ups and downs—but that arc ultimately lands in a positive place.

To his credit, Holmes explores the "why?' of a male character like Isaiah descending into rebellious behavior.  He states:

The thing is, we have pretty good information on why men today are struggling. Dr. Jonathan Haidt points out in “The Anxious Generation ” that overprotectiveness of children has undercuts boys' confidence growing up by keeping them from going on adventures without supervision — which they can’t gain confidence without having.

Schools reward girls’ natural sit-still-and-listen style of learning while punishing boys' active, hands-on learning style, as The American Psychological Association points out. Add that to men feeling stigmatized for their masculinity, as Dr. Richard Reeves's book “Of Boys and Men” unpacks, and many men don’t see the point of trying to succeed. A father can help if he and his son have a close relationship, as Nancy Pearcey’s “The Toxic War on Masculinity” shows, but they are still fighting against the current.

This results in a generation of boys who don’t have the skills and confidence in themselves to succeed in the world, and feel stigmatized for the parts of themselves they like. Therefore, they retreat into fantasy like video games or porn, which do validate their masculine drives.

It seems that Jonathan Haidt is getting quite a bit of visibility these days. Richard Blackaby states that, "Haidt is not a Christian. In fact, he would most likely claim to be a Liberal atheist." But, he seems to have discovered an important thread that could provide answers.  In a commentary by John Stonestreet and Jared Hayden at the Breakpoint website, they write:

Haidt argues in his latest book, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, that collective action is what we need to save our children. He suggests four ideas that need to become new norms, which would require collective action: no smartphones before high school, no social media before 16, phone-free schools, and more independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world at an earlier age.

The commentary actually questioned the effectiveness of government action to regulate cellphone use for minors, and said that more stakeholders are needed.  The article states:

In recent years, local congregations and groups of Christian families have joined together to take the “Postman Pledge.” By taking this pledge, named after tech critic Neil Postman, families agree to a year of raising their kids sans smartphones and in social community with one another. 

Now more than ever, we need collective action to protect kids from phone-based childhoods. The more, the better.

The so-called "boy crisis" is something that is very much on the mind of Mark Hancock, the CEO of Trail Life USA, who has been a guest multiple times on The Meeting House on Faith Radio.  In a blog post in response to the renaming of the Boy Scouts of America, the organization stated:

For Trail Life USA CEO Mark Hancock, the name change served as a sobering reminder of a dividing line between principle and progressivism. "Our focus is different," he responded. "Our number one job is not to get kids into the program. Our number one job is to grow godly men. The reality is that males and females are fundamentally different in many ways: physically, emotionally, and in their relationships. Pretending otherwise in the name of progress or permissiveness might be culturally acceptable, but it does both sexes a disservice. Boys and girls deserve unique programs created with their specific needs in mind."

We are suffering the effects of the homogenization of gender and gender roles.  The Bible is clear that God made men and women unique. This means that there are specific attributes that are consistent with and an extension of biological sex.  This is not intended to perpetuate stereotypes, but the truth is, we live in an age of gender confusion, and what it means to be a man and if manhood is even valuable and relevant are topics that are up for debate in some circles. 

There are many reasons, but we can find wisdom to address these issues through the clarity of the Scriptures.  Rather than wander in confusion and despair, men - and everyone, for that matter - can gain a sense of identity by pressing into Jesus. He is a great model for us of true manhood - strong, yet compassionate; directed, yet dependent on His Heavenly Father.  In an age in which the Christian faith and Jesus Himself have been redefined, recast, we can know the stability and security that come through a relationship with Him.