A Good Thing

Culturally speaking, the institution of marriage seems to be in a state of decline. But, Biblically, the institution is rock-solid; unfortunately, in practice, people do not hold a high view of this gift. Hebrews chapter 13 states:
4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
6 So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"

Verse four upholds the standard and then provides God's viewpoint of sexual immorality.  Single people stay pure, married people stay faithful - that's what God intends.  He does not want His people to long for what is not theirs, and He gives us the power of His presence to remain faithful in what He has called us.  He is our helper, and He has provided graciously for us.  So, we have to reject evil desires and uphold the good that He brings.

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In the book of Genesis, we see the origination of the institution of marriage, an expression of God's perfect plan for humanity. In Proverbs 18, we find a statement of blessing on the marriage relationship:
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

Not long ago, noted theologian and social commentator Owen Strachan was on The Meeting House and lamented the state of manhood in America and how a Biblical viewpoint can bring a recognition of the proper role of men and how that can be beneficial to society. The book he has written is called, The War on Men: Why Society Hates Them and Why We Need Them.

Well, this is not to minimize the importance of single men, but an article on The Daily Citizen website seems to indicate that marriage can be beneficial in improving the lot of men.  Writer Zachary Mettler says:

There’s a growing trend – on both the left and right – that sees marriage in a negative light. Some claim that marriage is a harmful arrangement, particularly for men.

In a recent interview, Andrew Tate – a disreputable womanizer and faux masculine “influencer” – said, “I don’t think many men actually benefit from marriage as a relationship anymore.”

YouTube commenter and “anti-feminist” media personality H. Pearl Davis has described marriage as “a death sentence for men.”

But, as Mettler relates: 

Marriage has always been – and remains – good for men. This fact is well documented in studies, articles, books and the research literature for decades. Fostering a well-informed opinion on this issue requires we look at that data.

Now, marriage also has been – and remains – good for women too.

Citing research from a book by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, called The Case for Marriage, Mettler lays out this evidence, saying that men who are married...

• Live nearly 10 years longer than their unmarried peers;

• Are about 50% less likely to die – at any age – than unmarried men;

• Are less likely than singles to suffer from long-term chronic illnesses or disabilities;

• Are about 30% more likely to rate their health as “excellent or very good” than unmarried men;

• Drink about half as much as their unmarried peers of the same age;

• Are less likely to smoke, drink and drive, drive too fast, get into fights, or take risks that increase the chance of accidents and injuries.

The authors also relate that there are financial benefits and earning potential that are afforded married men. 

And, from a mental and emotional perspective, there are benefits to married men and women, as well; Mettler relates:

Contrary to the popular notion that marriage makes dads unhappy and prompts burnout, numerous studies – including the gold-standard General Social Survey (GSS) – tell us that married women and men who are mothers and fathers report the highest levels of being “very happy.”

Regarding men, he states, "The GSS found that 35% of married men with children report being 'very happy' compared to married men without children (30%), unmarried men with no children (14%) and unmarried men with children (12%)."

But, fewer younger people are taking advantage of this glorious opportunity - Mettler writes:

...statistically, marriage is far and away a net positive for men and women.

However, this reality has not seeped into our popular culture, in part, thanks to the foolish advice of commentators like Tate and Davis. Many young Americans today are delaying or forgoing marriage altogether. The national median age of first marriages is now 29 years – its age 30 for men and 28 for women. The average number of marriages has been decreasing for 20 years.

I remember my conversation with J.P. DeGance of Communio, whose organization, which is very, very pro-marriage, has released research that shows the decline of people getting married and the contribution of that phenomenon to loneliness, fatherlessness, and the passing of faith to the next generation. 

So, the Church should be in the business of promoting marriage.  An article at the Institute for Family Studies website, featured an interview with Seth Kaplan, author of the book, Fragile Neighborhoods, in which he was asked about the work of Communio, which he highlights in the book.  Some encouragement that he offered for churches was:

...I would, of course, make strengthening marriage a higher priority and proactively learn from those doing good work in the field. Despite consistently emphasizing the importance of social ties—particularly marriage—few churches currently have a coherent strategy for strengthening those ties among members. And for those who make an effort to strengthen marriage, too often their approach is scattershot, with a limited understanding of what works or doesn’t and short-term timeframes. Churches don’t need to reinvent the wheel; they can learn from each other about what kinds of marriage initiatives have lasting results.

Earlier this week, Hillary Morgan Ferrer of Mama Bear Apologetics was on the program, and we were talking about God's perfect plan for sexuality.  The fact is, God has great plans for our lives, and if we conform to His principles, He will be glorified and we will be at peace because we are aligned with what He desires.  Certainly, as the apostle Paul wrote, single people can be used mightily of God. But, He has a plan for those of us who are married, as well.  And, there are distinct benefits for those who follow Christ into marriage, from the choosing of a mate through the building of a home. 

And, based on what Zachary Mettler points out, this could have an impact in repairing broken masculinity.  A man who finds a wife, the Bible says, finds a good thing - I know that from personal experience!  In my life, my wife, Beth, not only loves me unconditionally, but has been an incredible support for me in this ministry.  And, vice versa, as I support her in following God's call on her life.  Out of that love for one another, consistent with the love of God, great things are in store for those who surrender their marriages to the Lord.