As For Me and My House

As we attempt to honor God and walk in obedience to Him, we can love what He loves and walk according to His ways; He has plenty to say about making sure that our family relationships are right. Proverbs 11 says:
27 He who earnestly seeks good finds favor, But trouble will come to him who seeks evil.
28 He who trusts in his riches will fall, But the righteous will flourish like foliage.
29 He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind, And the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.

God has ordained marriage and the family for His purposes, and our homes should ideally be dedicated to bringing honor to His name.  We have to make sure that we are not doing as verse 29 cautions us against to "trouble" our own houses. That can be done in a myriad of ways, and spouses and parents can be challenged to make sure that we are surrendering to God and walking in the love of Christ, so that He can be seen at work through our homes. 

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In Joshua chapter 24, as the Israelites entered into the Promised Land, Joshua addressed issues related to families serving the Lord together. He declared that that Lord said:
13 'I have given you a land for which you did not labor, and cities which you did not build, and you dwell in them; you eat of the vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant.'

In light of the potential to experience God's blessings through surrender, Joshua said:
14 "Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord!
15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

When we think about God's order, His plan for humanity, we see that the family is a key foundational unit for a functioning society.  In the first two chapters of Genesis, we see that God ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman - and out of that union defined by Him, He commanded them to "be fruitful and multiply."

So, we can expect that with the disintegration of the family, there will be dramatic negative implications for our society at large.

But, a new survey indicates that perhaps there are positive signs regarding the state of the family.  Focus on the Family's website, The Daily Citizen, reports:

...a major new report from the scholars at the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) demonstrates in persuasive detail that the married mother/father family is even more powerful today in providing essential goods to children that ever before. University of Virginia sociologist Brad Wilcox explained to The Washington Post that “Kids benefit even more today from two parents than they did 16 to 40 years ago.”

The article goes on to say: 

“The share of American men and women who think that marriage and a stable family are not important for children in our contemporary world is growing” and they attribute this belief to “increasing progressive ideas about family diversity” and those “who discount the unique value of marriage” for building strong families, healthy children and thriving communities. The data bear this out. In 2006, 76% of Americans thought it was important for unmarried couples who have children to “legally marry.” That number fell to 60% in 2020.

The Daily Citizen article examines the study's findings in two critical areas: education and economics. 

Regarding education, the article notes:

The report documents that differences between children from single-parent and married-parent families in critical educational outcomes have doubled and tripled over the last few decades.

This means all other things being equal, children raised by only one parent are walking with a substantial limp in their academic careers compared to their significantly advantaged peers living with married moms and dads. And again, this inequity is growing wider. IFS reports that scholars studying this divide “found no evidence that the link between family structure and student outcomes is diminishing.”

And, in the area of the relationship between children from stable families vs. unstable and the impact of economic success, the study finds:

“Almost four-in-ten Millennials (42%) from intact families are affluent by the time they are in their mid-thirties, compared with 24% of their peers from non-intact families.” This married-family premium has only increased over the decades, with Boomer peers having benefited by having married parents, but to a lesser degree compared with Millennials. This report explains, “The gap among Boomers is smaller, with 36% of Boomers from intact families and 22% from non-intact families reaching affluence by their mid-thirties.”

A word here for single parents in our listening audience, who may have found themselves in that situation through no fault of their own: you know better than most the challenges of raising children in a one-parent home; a condition that may be exacerbated by a less-than-optimal relationship with the other parent. There are greater challenges for children that can be overcome, but things can be tougher. That is why single parents need the prayer and support of family and friends and even the local Church, recognizing that the data is against them.

But, culture at large, as the data shows, has developed a more permissive, progressive attitude toward the importance of the nuclear family - those who reject God's design in the area of family and willingly rebelling against Biblical principles have adopted a cavalier attitude toward marriage, family, and sexuality which are reflected in many areas of society, from education, to economics, even to crime.  Indeed, the Bible is correct when it says that you reap what you sow. 

This recent data illustrates the importance of seeking to follow God's plan, to uphold His order - the pressures on the family are great, but we serve a God who is greater.  As this study indicates, there are great benefits to having a stable family situation, and recognizing this landscape can give us a greater appreciation of what the Bible has to say about marriage and family.