Fussing and Fighting

Hebrews 12 outlines the combination of personal holiness and our relationships with others:
14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.   The Bible exhorts us here to pursue peace - and that's a theme we see throughout Scripture - and the engine to bring about that peace is found in the remainder of verse 14:  be holy.   If our vertical relationship with God is right, if we have peace with God through Jesus Christ, then we will see evidence of His hand and His character in the way we relate to others.   If we have bitterness, anger, and resentment in our horizontal relationships, then our walk with God is stymied.
In Romans 12, we get a glimpse into some of the factors that hinder our earthly relationships and hamper our relationship with God:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.   The History Channel has begun its much-ballyhooed mini-series starring Kevin Costner on the famous family feud between the Hatfield and McCoy families in the area of Kentucky and West Virginia.  This relationship between two families included murder, pride in the form of control of territory, and even a hog that sparked conflict.   As the generations proceeded, the tensions apparently thawed - even to the point that descendants were able to compete on the TV show, "Family Feud".
But, this feud really does illustrate for us how NOT to pursue peace with others - there was a great amount of bloodshed, and even political officials felt the need to get involved to try to mitigate the conflict.   The whole situation offers valuable lessons for us:1)  As Hebrews 12 says, we are to pursue peace with all men, in the power of Christ 2)  It is not up to us to exact revenge when we feel we have been wronged - there may a time for confrontation, but to attempt to repay evil for evil is not consistent with Scriptural instruction3)  We are not going to agree with everyone we meet or interact with - even the closest of families will experience disagreements from time to time; but when there is conflict or tension, we are to take steps to resolve them in an agreeable, even diplomatic, manner4)  Bitterness and resentment are detrimental to our relationship with God - if we have unforgiveness toward another in our hearts, we cannot experience the fullness of His presence and His forgiveness that He desires for us to have.5)  A root of bitterness can produce fruit that is inconsistent with a godly life - if we allow the root to bear fruit, then it is harder to eradicate than if we had dealt with it swiftly at the first sign of conflict.
While your conflicts may not have developed to a Hatfield-McCoy level, still if we are walking at odds with others, maybe in a family, or a church, or workplace situation, its important that we lay down pride and pursue peace in the power of the Spirit.