Taking Back the House

Psalm 127 lays out for us God's view of children and can remind us of the responsibility we have to raise them according to His principles:
1Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.2It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.3Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
The words "blessing" and "treasure" are also used to describe the wonderful gifts that are our children.   God has granted us our families for His purposes, for His glory, to create an atmosphere of love, training, and safety for those who reside in our homes.   The home is, in a sense, an incubator, where our children learn not only Biblical truth, but how to apply it, and we as parents learn about ourselves and are challenged to try to be more Godly examples to them.   It's a wonderful institution ordained by God - but when we are fractured and we depart from His ways, then some really tragic circumstances can come about.  We have to guard our hearts and our homes, so that Christ will be exalted in our families.

In Deuteronomy 6, we see a pattern of imparting Godly principles into the lives of our children.
6"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.7"You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.8"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead .9"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

There was plenty of inspirational material released over the Father's Day weekend, and you may have come across the piece on ABC News online, as well as Yahoo! featuring the inimitable Bill Cosby.   My friend Warren Smith of WORLD called attention to it in his latest "Signs and Wonders" column, in fact.

The comedian and legendary sitcom dad is not one to mince words, and in this interview, he talked about his goals for the unbelievably successful "The Cosby Show". He said:

“I based the series on two important things: Number one … I hated those series where the children were brighter than the parents, and those parents had to play dumb...Number two was that I wanted to ‘take the house back'".

By Cosby’s estimation, if you want to entertain children “at the expense of parenting, at the expense of keeping children out of harm’s way to get these laughs, to make these parents look stupid, to make kids look like they are ultra-bright but still lost, then we have a problem.”

“[We] parents make it difficult," he said, "because we want to be well-liked. And I’m not saying that parenting, you shouldn’t want to be well-liked, but you also have to have some kind of judgment.”

Cosby sounds a lot like another sitcom dad, who is quoted by Jim Daly of Focus on the Family in a 2011 piece, who admittedly missed it, saying that the TV show in which he was featured destroyed his family.   In a GQ piece that Jim quotes from, this actor referred to interviews he had given where he said what was important between he and his daughter is that he tried to be a friend to his kids. He stated: "I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, 'Enough is enough--it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."

In 2010, this man - Billy Ray Cyrus, father of Miley - filed for divorce, then said he wanted to work things out.   Just this past week, his wife filed for divorce.   It's tragic, the disintegration of an American family, right before our eyes.  

So Cosby rails against buddy-buddy parenting; so does Cyrus, but from a position of weakness, by his own admission. Jim Daly goes on:   

Now a reality check. We all like to be liked. If it’s human nature for a kid to push, it’s human nature for a mom or dad to want to be favorably viewed by our kids. But here is the big question: Do we want to be their best pal – or their parent who often has to hold firm and say “no” when they desperately want us to say “yes”?

John Rosemond, noted parenting expert who has been a guest on this program quite a few times, speaks about parental authority.   We have to take up the mantle that God has given to us.   Aloof parents do not necessarily produce children who are attentive to the ways of the Lord.  And overly authoritative parents can produced rebellious kids - remember what Josh McDowell said yesterday that "rules without relationship leads to rebellion".  He's not talking about being a buddy or pal, but striking the right balance - to show authority, but all the while being affirming and reflecting a genuine love and concern.

There are so many issues in homes in America - we just have no idea!   But, as parents, we have to be conscious of, as Cosby says, taking back the house.   In areas that we identify where we as a family are not reflecting Godly values or character, we have to interject the principles of Scripture.   We can make it our aim to be a family that is based on a firm foundation of Biblical truth, making decisions from God's perspective.   And, the way we approach our lives as parents and relate to our children has the potential to make a lasting impact for generations to come.