A Revolving Door?

God's desire was, and still is, for truth to be passed from generation to generation. Psalm 78 provides this reminder:
5 For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children;
6 That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children,
7 That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments...

Our individual lives are no doubt to be centered on the truth of the Scriptures.  But, we are not called to keep what God has taught us to ourselves - our spiritual walk affects others, including those closest to us - including our spouses and our children.  Out of the overflow of our personal relationship with Christ, God's love will flow and touch people.  We are called to build our families on God's firm foundation.

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In Psalm 68, we can gain a sense of God's view of the family:
4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Extol Him who rides on the clouds, By His name Yah, And rejoice before Him.
5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.
6 God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Family is God's idea - He said in Genesis that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so he created a companion for him; He granted children to them...

Some recently released data from a study examining the religious habits of individuals and families can be summed up in this way: married couples tend to disassociate with the church during their early years of marriage, but having children may help them return.

That's a surprising conclusion from two waves of the Portraits of American Life Study.  In a piece written by David Briggs, posted at the Association of Religion Data Archives website, he writes:

Newly married individuals reported fewer close friends and weaker social ties within their congregations, according to a study of two waves of the Portraits of American Life Study.

The evidence supports developing research indicating marriage is more likely in younger generations to be a “greedy institution.” Attention tends to shift to the newlywed’s spouse and away from other relationships, said researcher Benjamin Gurrentz of Pennsylvania State University.

What does bring young adults back to religious congregations is having children.

A separate study, which followed some 11,500 young people from adolescence to young adulthood found that among young people who attended weekly as adolescents but were not active during those times of what is termed, "emerging adulthood," married parents were more than three times as likely as singles without children to return to weekly attendance.  The article states:

But what somewhat surprised researchers was that single parents, despite the risk of disapproval, had similarly high rates of return relative to singles without children.

“Single parents do seem to be coming back,” lead researcher Jeremy Uecker of Baylor University said. “When they were religious as teen-agers … they find their way back as young adults.”

And, according to the article, Uecker believes the best way to retain young adults is not to lose them in the first place - I believe this hearkens to the seemingly age-old challenge of finding ways to involve those in the Millennial generation.

So, in summary, as the Penn State research showed, according to Gurrentz: "It is children, not marriage per se, that actually integrates married respondents into religious communities." He presented his findings last month at the annual meeting of the Association for the Sociology of Religion in Seattle.

Baylor researchers said: “There appear to be at least two pathways to religious return via family formation—a single-parent path, perhaps especially spurred by practical and cultural reasons, and the ‘traditional’ married (with children) path..."

Briggs writes, "The findings from both studies suggest that religious communities have much to offer many parents in diverse family situations."

The takeaways are clear: first of all, recognize that in their early marital stages, young people are exiting the church.  And, children bring them back.   It's telling that young married couples may not deem a strong religious integration as being critical - and that no doubt can affect the success rate, I would think...if the foundation isn't there, the couple becomes vulnerable to those factors that can enhance marital breakup.  No matter what your stage of marriage, building your life on God's firm foundation is critical to preserving that relationship.

This survey also points out how family structure can affect religious practice.  The integration of children into a home can be a catalyst for people seeking out those religious moorings.  And, perhaps deep down, there is a longing to make sure that one's children, the next generation, has that foundation of religious teaching.  We do have to recognize that parents are charged with the primary responsibility for our children's spiritual development, but the church can be a powerful partner in helping to facilitate that.   

We have a responsibility in our society to promote strong families, to help build families in a manner consistent with the Biblical model - one man-one woman marriage, children born within the bonds of marriage - and there will be those anomalies, those exceptions, for which we must be prepared.  But, God's truth can even supersede and strengthen those instances where the Biblical prescription is not or has not been followed.   He wants to bring about family stability and restoration.